"There is no hopeless situation, only people who are hopeless about their situation" — this was how I tried to clarify my muddled state during periods of confusion. Later, I discovered that it is people who create emotions and feelings about their external environment. Reflection, dissatisfaction, and introspection about one's circumstances each carry their own interpretation.
The common predicament modern people face stems from losing personal meaning. We must connect with our subconscious to establish new values. This is a form of reflection — thinking from the outside in: what is the impact of external factors on me? And from the inside out, to examine: Why am I here? What am I here for? And where should I go? All problems originate from me, and all solutions also originate from me.
"When every path is easy to walk..." this might seem like a luxury problem for some, but why do I struggle? I know it's the pressure I place on myself, because I feel my age has caught up with me.
I'm about to turn 30
This is a journey that anyone — particularly women — goes through when facing the 30-year mark. I've divided the stage of exploring myself into three phases: avoiding the self, excavating the self, and expressing the self. However, this isn't "irreversible" — rather, these phases occur alternately. Sometimes, even after reaching the third phase, encountering setbacks can pull you back to the first or second phase. But when courage returns, you can go back to the third phase again. Isn't that what life is?
▲ What you can't do as you please is what life truly is
I. Avoiding the Self: Convincing Yourself That You're in "the Worst State"
As for avoiding the self, I define it this way: knowing that the current situation has many obstacles you can't overcome, wanting to turn things around or change, yet convincing yourself to focus on the "remaining advantages" of the status quo — such as dreams, ideals, pursuing the self, and other impractical factors.
I want to clarify here my definition of "impractical" — it's not the kind of overambitious fantasy talk that's merely rhetoric. It's clinging to things that provide no long-term help, repeatedly doing things that run counter to "becoming better," such as accepting low wages, working excessive overtime, tolerating unjustifiable stress, and embracing values "brainwashed" by the external environment.
This was a shackle I struggled to break free from for a long time. Even after observing many people around me, I've come to understand something: these people get trapped in the thought, "If I just persevere a bit longer, things will definitely change" or "If I had persevered back then, everything would be better now." However, after experiencing "reality," I painfully understand how "such pragmatism is actually impractical," and this has kept us cycling endlessly between "pressure" and "endurance."
Even when we've exceeded our capacity, we unrealistically escape the discomfort of our body and mind under stress, as well as the fact that our efforts bring no commensurate rewards or gains. We're even afraid to take resistance actions, such as leaving or moving into another stage. So we convince our own desires, keeping ourselves in "the worst situation, telling ourselves that everything will get better in the future" — but this future has no cutoff point. We can only escape from that part of ourselves that psychologically yearns for freedom, liberation, and rest.
▲ Calm yourself and think about what is realistic
II. Excavating the Self: Do Nothing But "Have a Dialogue With Yourself"
"Writing is a way to organize, and dialogue is a way to summarize." Insights that echo back to ourselves often come in moments of calm contemplation.
In 24 hours a day, I've discovered that my mind never stops. At work, I'm thinking about how to solve the next interviewee's problem, how to arrange and coordinate the scenes we'll shoot, and how to photograph two restaurants at very different locations within just three hours, giving each equal exposure without being an ad, yet meaningful to the public.
This is the daily cycle of being a journalist. Under time pressure, I'm almost unable to think about my own affairs. When I get home, I just go blank and laze around, scrolling my phone for four or five hours, then shower and sleep. I can't bear to close my eyes because once I fall asleep, tomorrow brings the same rush all over again.
So I fell in love with writing. Most of the time I don't need to draft — I just need a main direction, adjusting as I write, searching for vocabulary to support my thoughts while writing. Because this is "my way and time to dialogue with myself," so-called doing nothing doesn't mean truly zoning out, daydreaming, or wasting time, because in such moments, you'd actually just dwell on "what happened today" and fall back into negative emotions.
I fell in love with writing because it's the only time I can have a dialogue with myself, and through the process of deleting and contemplating words, I can clarify how much I've grown and how today differs from yesterday. Everyone excavates themselves differently. If you don't know where to start, why not begin by keeping a diary, or taking photos and writing short pieces, recording who you are now and how you're refining yourself into the person you'll love in the future.
▲ Because you believe, you can clearly see what your heart pursues.
III. Expressing the Self: "Believe and You Will See" — Give Your Best Even With Just One Listener
"How you act, how you live, determines who you are." Once the above two phases are prepared, you arrive at the final stage: expressing what you've clarified. It sounds simple in three sentences, but it's incredibly difficult to execute. The key lies in "whether you'll do it" and "how long you're willing to persist."
You're working so hard just to be seen by others, aren't you? Expressing yourself requires sacrifice. If you're the type who quietly works but expects to be seen, and you don't actively tell others what value you possess, or bravely break through your external and internal limitations, it's very difficult.
Are you willing to give your best presentation even when only one person is listening?
I know a founder who once said this: he approaches everything to a 100-percent standard, leaving no room for others to deduct points. Even if something seems insignificant to him, even if it's effortless — it's precisely because of his seriousness and initiative toward every matter that he's become who he is today, founding Taiwan's largest social platform and securing nearly a hundred million in financing.
I'm the type of person who thinks I'm already trying hard, yet keeps cycling between the first and second phases. For a while, I kept seeking advice everywhere. That's when I discovered that the first thing anyone who wants to persist with something should do is thoroughly understand their own capabilities and the ceiling of their knowledge, continuously fill in the gaps, and only then devise concrete, achievable goals and timelines — not just blindly think you're capable and indulge in fantasies about becoming successful someday.
But how do you do it? Say you want to start a business today. You should first define the business, how much time it will take, how much revenue to achieve, and so on — goals that can be quantified by data. This is the concept of target management, like anchoring a ship. Once the direction is set, you proceed step by step, and you'll eventually find your own path.
Additionally, having "key partners" is very important. Jack Ma once said that ideals become reality when a group of people work together. To build a business, you must first find a group of like-minded people willing to contribute to it. Only then can you "believe and see, rather than see and believe." This is the magic of creation. Without partners, you feel lonely and misunderstood, even doubting your own persistence and abilities. But with 7 billion people in the world, whether you can expand outward, transform your fears into your comfort zone rather than living in a small circle, is the true key decision to truly expressing yourself.
"When every path is easy to walk... your choice is your answer."
