"There is no hopeless situation, only people who are desperate about their situation," this was my interpretation as I tried to clarify my confused state during a period of uncertainty. Later, I discovered that it is people who create emotions and feelings about external circumstances. Each person has their own interpretation of self-reflection, dissatisfaction, and contemplation about their current state.
The predicament faced by modern people is generally caused by the loss of personal significance. We must establish new values through connection with the subconscious. This is a form of reflection—thinking from the outside inward to understand how external factors affect us, and "examining" from the inside outward. Why am I here? What am I here for? And where should I go? All problems stem from me, and all solutions also stem from me.
"When every path is easy to walk..." This might seem like a luxury problem for some, but why am I struggling? I know it's the pressure I've put on myself, because I feel like I'm at that age.
I'm almost 30
This is a journey that anyone, or rather any woman, goes through when facing the 30-year mark. I've divided the stage of self-exploration into three phases: avoiding myself, exploring myself, and expressing myself. However, these don't have "irreversibility"—they occur in an alternating pattern. Sometimes I've clearly entered the third phase, but when I encounter setbacks, I return to phases one or two. But when my courage is recharged, I can return to phase three again. Isn't that what life is?
▲What we can't do as we please is life itself
Phase One: Avoiding Myself—Convincing Yourself You're in "The Worst State"
Regarding self-avoidance, here's how I define it: knowing that your current situation has many obstacles you can't overcome, wanting to turn things around or change, yet convincing yourself to focus on the "remaining advantages" of your current state, such as dreams, ideals, self-discovery—unrealistic factors like these.
I want to clarify my definition of "unrealistic"—it doesn't mean grandiose fantasies that are just talk. Rather, it's clinging to things that don't help your long-term future, repeatedly doing things that go against "making yourself better," such as accepting low pay, working overtime excessively, tolerating pressure you shouldn't, and being "brainwashed" by external societal values.
This is a shackle I've never been able to escape, and even after observing many people around me, I've found that these people get trapped in thoughts like "If I just persist a little longer, things will be different" or "If I had persisted then, things would be better now." But after experiencing "facing reality," I painfully understand how "practically speaking, this is so impractical," and this is precisely what keeps us trapped in cycles of "pressure" and "endurance."
Even when we're at our breaking point, we unrealistically avoid the discomfort of our body and mind under constant pressure, and the current reality that our efforts don't bring proportional rewards or achievements. We even fear taking resistance actions like leaving and moving to another stage. Instead, we convince our desires, keeping ourselves in "the worst circumstances, telling ourselves everything will be better in the future," but this future has no stop-loss point. We can only avoid that psychological self yearning for freedom, liberation, and rest.
▲Calm down and think about what's practical
Phase Two: Exploring Myself—Do Nothing but "Have a Dialogue with Yourself"
"Writing is a form of organizing; dialogue is a form of summarizing." The inspiration that reflects back to us often comes in moments of quiet contemplation.
In 24 hours a day, I've discovered that my mind never stops. At work, I think about how to solve the next interviewee's problem, how to arrange and coordinate the scenes we need to shoot, how to photograph two restaurants at different locations in just three hours, giving each equal exposure time without seeming like ads, while still having meaning for the public.
This is the daily cycle of being a reporter. Under time pressure, I'm barely able to think about my own matters. When I get home, I can only zone out and become listless, scrolling through my phone for four or five hours, then showering and sleeping. I'm reluctant to close my eyes because once I fall asleep, tomorrow is another cycle of rushing around.
So I fell in love with writing. Most of the time, I don't need to draft—I just need a main theme, adjusting direction as I write. While writing, I search for words that can support my thoughts. Because this is "my way and time of having a dialogue with myself," so-called doing nothing isn't truly zoning out, daydreaming, or wasting time. Because at such moments, you actually just get caught up in "what happened today" and fall back into negative emotions.
I fell in love with writing because it's a time when I can only have a dialogue with myself, and through the process of deleting and savoring words, I can clarify how much I've grown and distinguish the differences between yesterday and today. So I fell in love with writing. Everyone has a different way of exploring themselves. If you don't know where to start, why not begin by keeping a diary, or taking photos and writing short pieces, recording who you are at this very moment, and how you're refining yourself into the person you'll love in the future.
▲Because of belief, we can clearly see what the heart pursues.
Phase Three: Expressing Myself—"See Because You Believe"—Give Your All Even for One Listener
"How you act, how you live, determines who you are." Once the above two phases are ready, comes the final stage: expressing these things you've clarified. Simple as these three sentences are, they're very difficult to execute. The key lies in "whether you'll do it" and "how long you're willing to persist."
You work so hard just to be seen, don't you? Expressing yourself requires sacrifice. If you silently work away but expect to be seen, not actively telling others what value you possess, or bravely breaking through your external and internal limitations, it's very difficult.
Are you willing to give your all in a speech when you have only 1 listener?
I know a founder who once said he does everything to 100%, not giving others a chance to deduct points. Even if that thing seems insignificant to him, even if it's effortless for him, it's precisely because of his seriousness and positivity toward everything that he's become who he is—founding Taiwan's largest social platform and securing nearly 100 million yuan in funding.
I'm someone who thinks she's worked very hard, yet keeps cycling between phases one and two. For a while, I kept seeking advice everywhere. That's when I realized: the first thing a person should do to stick with something to the end is to thoroughly understand your own capabilities and the ceiling of your knowledge, constantly fill in the gaps, and only then develop concrete, achievable goals with specific timelines, rather than blindly thinking you're capable and daydreaming that you'll succeed one day.
But how do you do it? Suppose you want to start a business today—you should first define your business content, how long it will take, how much profit you'll achieve, and so on—concrete, quantifiable goals. This is the concept of goal management, like dropping an anchor for a ship. Once the direction is set, proceed step by step, and you'll eventually find your own path.
Another important thing is having "key partners." Jack Ma once said that ideals are about a group of people turning dreams into reality. To achieve success, you first need to find a group of like-minded people willing to contribute to it. Then you "see because you believe," rather than "believe because you see." This is the magic of creation. Without companions, you feel lonely and misunderstood, even doubting your own persistence and abilities. But with 7 billion people in the world, whether you can expand outward, turn fear into your comfort zone rather than living in a small circle, that's the key decision in truly expressing yourself.
"When every path is easy to walk..." your choice is the answer.
