By Karen Chen
"Refusing to be ordinary" was something I wrote on Facebook back in my sophomore year—I remember that status clearly. My reason at the time was quite superficial: those years I was working and studying simultaneously, balancing part-time jobs, classes, and preparing for graduate school. Yet some people around me were constantly upgrading to the latest iPhones and iPads. Perhaps it was inferiority, but I didn't just envy them—I was jealous. That's why I wrote those words out of resentment.
Eight years have passed, and I still remember that phrase vividly. Back then, I couldn't break into other social circles. Over these years, through reading, writing, and practical work experience, I've accumulated efficiency and real strength. I discovered something surprising: those people I once struggled to talk to, felt distant from, or who didn't believe in me—they started listening, started sharing, and even began asking me for advice on their problems.
It wasn't until I listened to Katrina's speech and watched a video she shared that I finally understood this principle: "Socializing requires evenly matched strength." Only when you become strong enough can you have meaningful conversations with accomplished people. When both parties share similar ideas, the exchange becomes mutually beneficial rather than one-sided giving.
That video also conveyed another truth: "I work so hard not for myself, but so that the people who know me continue to know me. When you lack ability, money, or status, people who once knew you will forget you. But when you become someone of status, even people who didn't know you will claim they do."
This reminds me that journalists actually have "industry circles." Sometimes when we lack news or need contact information, we help each other out. Everyone in the group can offer something different. If someone new tries to join, they'll inevitably feel out of place—and the group might even create smaller circles to discuss more intimate matters. No one wants to become worse; everyone wants to maintain or improve their standing. That's why learning how to fit in with excellent people matters more than forcing yourself to adapt.
This is why improving your real strength becomes so important. But that term is vague, so I think there are several concrete keys: "setting clear goals." If your goal is building relationships and you want to connect with someone but feel you're not on their level, start by understanding their background, interests, and how your expertise could help them. Once you've set your goal, gradually build your strength through books, online content, and offline communities. Realize that nothing happens overnight. Use the "one-by-one" approach: start with smaller contacts within their network, then let those people recommend you through word-of-mouth marketing. This makes it easier to build genuine connections.
