No matter what state you're in, always remember one thing: "Protect yourself well"; if you don't have the ability to protect yourself, seek help—don't just suffer in silence.

Actually, quite a few friends have come to ask me similar questions.

"How do I adjust when a colleague keeps making things difficult for me?"

"Why does my boss criticize me in front of everyone?"

"I've already worked so hard"

When I encounter such questions, I always tell them that perhaps the other person is intentionally creating difficulties to test you and see how you respond. As long as we correct our mistakes, improve next time, and keep progressing over time, they may eventually change their mind. The key is that we must keep improving.

Moreover, this concern also reflects that "we care a lot about what others think"—so we hope everyone thinks we're performing well, and we want to do things with our original intentions, approaching others with kindness and understanding. Sometimes others might just say thoughtless words, or it could be that they've always done things a certain way, and when they meet newcomers who "can't accept change," that becomes their problem!

If the other person is intentionally making things difficult, we must learn to "protect ourselves well." There are many ways to protect yourself, which can simply be divided into two types: "speaking clearly" and "tolerating." Some people love peace and choose to tolerate; others prefer to clarify things so both sides have no hard feelings or can understand each other's thoughts better.

I think you can adjust based on the situation. Regarding tolerance, if the other person is being demanding because they want to "do things well," and once the matter is resolved they have no other emotional baggage, then it's fine—we can "tolerate when we can." But in some ways, this also means we have areas that need correction to keep the organization running smoothly and do things well, which is also a way of protecting yourself.

For example, before sending an email or report, we thoroughly review it three times from start to finish, or ask colleagues or managers to help proofread the wording, format, etc., and confirm everything is correct before sending it to clients. Maybe this process is tedious and time-consuming, but double-checking provides more assurance, and superiors won't blame the lowest-ranking person when something goes wrong—why not do it? (This can be applied to other matters too.)

But if it's emotionally charged difficulty-making, or "attacking the person rather than the issue," we need to speak clearly and plainly. If speaking up leads to the other person changing, that's great; but if not, we don't necessarily have to speak directly to that person.

In such cases, I suggest seeking a fair third party to help you solve the problem. This role is usually your manager. If it involves gender-based oppression, you can seek help from the Gender Equality Committee; if you're being bullied by teachers or classmates at school, you should tell your parents or counseling unit. In any case, "finding the right people" helps resolve the issue. Don't just endure in silence or assume the other person won't listen and choose not to speak, because often only you bear the hurt—no one will shoulder it for you, and the shadows left behind are yours alone.

Beyond workplace unfair treatment, life often brings such situations. Let me share a story from my childhood.

During my elementary school years, when corporal punishment still existed, because my memory wasn't very good, I often forgot to bring my workbook or textbook. My teacher would get very angry. Once, she told my mom that if I was fined 10 dollars every day I forgot, I'd remember. Since then, I thought "my mom and teacher were in league."

That semester in second grade, one day I didn't want to wait for the teacher to hand out blank papers one by one, so I went to the school store and bought a notebook of 10-dollar blank test papers (everyone knows what that is, right?). When the teacher was about to distribute papers during class, without asking any questions, she slapped my face and took my papers away. My cheek burned hot, and I was shocked.

The teacher then said for no reason, "Why did you steal the class test papers?"

I was startled and quickly said, "I bought them."

The teacher was still very angry and asked, "Where can you buy them?"

I answered, "The school store."

Still not giving up, she continued, "How much was one?"

I quietly answered, "10 dollars…" and only then did she silently return my papers, without even apologizing.

Did you think the story ended there?

A few weeks later, one day I was washing my hands at the sink when the teacher came walking by fiercely and directly slapped my face, then dragged me down the steps.

Teacher: "Why didn't you roll up your sleeves while washing?"

Me: "My sleeves aren't wet…"

Then the teacher just walked away, leaving me to quietly finish washing my hands. Nearly 20 years have passed since those two slaps, and I haven't forgotten them. They left me with a very deep shadow. Back then, I became withdrawn and didn't dare speak at school. As I grew up, I became very afraid of being criticized by others, or if someone questioned me, I'd feel targeted.

At that time, I didn't tell my mom because "I thought" the teacher and mom were in league. Later, when I was older and casually mentioned this incident to my mom, she got very angry and asked me "why didn't I tell her," "how could a teacher bully someone like this." That's when I understood—many things aren't because we're wrong, or because we must submit to tyranny, or because we need to suffer in silence, or because we should accept a wrong situation as is. Rather, we need to find the right people who can help us and uphold justice—not silently let our wounds heal on their own, leaving permanent scars that may fade but still remain.

So when we do things poorly, we correct ourselves. When we do things well but face emotional, intentional difficulty-making, we must speak clearly, express our position well, stand up for ourselves, and protect ourselves. Don't choose to endure silently at any moment—that only hurts yourself, and it's not worth it at all.