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I started keeping a journal a few years ago. Before leaving for the Philippines, I looked back at my diary entries. A week before departing for my exchange semester in Korea at age 24, I wrote, "I was originally looking forward to it, but as the departure date approaches, I'm growing more afraid and don't want to face it." I was very anxious at that time. I remember that week when packing my suitcase, I would sigh every time I put something in, because I didn't know if I would grow or gain anything over the next six months. Plus, I was still a graduate student who hadn't finished her thesis. Compared to my friends who had entered the workforce right after university, I was already two years behind, lacking two years of professional experience.
From a worldly perspective, I was someone who didn't focus on her thesis, spent half a year abroad, and would have to delay graduation. Compared to others, I was truly far behind. That's why I felt such anxiety back then.
But now at 29, five years have passed. Since I quit my job at the end of July, I've experienced a tremendous shift in my mindset. I had quit five jobs before this one, and previously I would transition seamlessly between them—usually starting the next job within a week. That week was always anxious, and I felt nervous having nothing to do, doubting whether my abilities were sufficient.
But this time, I quit without another job lined up. My next position hasn't officially given me an offer yet, but I have my own domain and goals for it. Whether I return to media or move into something else, I don't care what the outside world thinks of my winding path. I have none of my past anxiety. Instead, during this month, I've explored many fields, received different opportunities, had time to contribute my expertise, and examined myself—wondering what's left of me after the business cards are exchanged.
What changed me most over these five years is that I'm very clear about my own personality. I understand exactly what people, events, and circumstances affect my attitudes and mindset, and I can control my thoughts. I'm not sure at what age or in what state others reach the same realization I have now, but if you've ever felt this way, believe me—you're living in a way that suits you best. Of course, the life you love will keep evolving, but please hold onto that sense of fulfillment.
To clarify what I mean by clearly knowing my own personality:
I know what kind of things I'll regret not doing, what will make me happy, or what state I'll fall into if I truly regret something—like lethargy, sleeping, staying indoors—and how to overcome it.
My understanding is:
The deeper your self-understanding, the more it helps you courageously reject things and accept rejection in career and life decisions.
But this isn't because I'm very strong. Rather, as I mentioned, after experiencing some significant setbacks in the first half of this year and quieting my mind to reflect, I realized the problem was my overconfidence, which led to such a big failure.
After carefully examining myself and reviewing my past life experiences, comparing how I used to handle similar situations versus how I do now—my approach, attitude, and emotions—I deeply understood that no matter when or what stage you're in, you'll repeatedly encounter the same lessons in life. I believe these are tests to see if you've truly grown. You've already fallen before; when the same challenge comes again, will you choose to fall, or not? If you suppress your emotions and think rationally instead, then that mindset itself means you've broken through your past self and evolved to a new stage.
When I was more negative before, I would ask others for advice. For example, a few years ago I won the Canadian working holiday visa lottery. I had already gotten it, but I wasn't even sure I wanted to go. I kept asking everyone whether I should go. Of course, about 80% supported me going abroad for the experience, but I ultimately decided not to go, and I regretted it immensely. That's when I decided that if I ever got another chance to go abroad, I would never hesitate again—I would just go.
This resignation was also a major turning point. From a worldly perspective, I quit after only four months, which doesn't look good on a resume. But looking back, I understand that if I stayed in that job for another year or two, I would have zero growth—I'd be stagnating in my abilities and perspective.
I want to say to friends around me who are struggling with career and life decisions: Leaving the familiar people and things around you won't cause your life to collapse. Instead, you can absorb the stimulation of new things and nourish your life with more nutrients. Don't always stay in one place watching others run forward—that's such a waste. Don't just admire how brave others are and tell them, "I wasn't as lucky as you."
I believe that luck is accumulated through life's ups and downs; it's important whether you treat setbacks as nourishment. No one is born lucky. Clarify what helps you and what doesn't, boldly let go of what you don't need, don't waste time, seize opportunities, and trust that every decision you make will bring significant change to your life and give you the confidence to face coming challenges. If you're not progressing and growing, you'll only encounter boring, tedious challenges. When you only complain and envy others, eventually no one can help you anymore. So when you face a life decision, ask yourself: What do I want? Who do I want to become? What kind of life do I want to live? Once you're sure, courageously step out of your comfort zone.
