This article originated from my Dcard post recommending that indecisiveness is an advantage. A user asked the following question:
I'm recently quite lost. I've never had anything particular I wanted to do, but I'm interested in many things. Yet just as the article describes, I feel I'm mediocre at everything. So I'm confused now... Do you recommend any books on similar topics that I could buy to examine whether I'm this type of person?
Because it felt so familiar—very much like my disillusioned self from a few years ago—I replied with 2,300 words (I suspect I have OCD).
= Main Text Below = (Dcard tone)
I've always been indecisive, changing jobs 5 times in 3.5 years. Here I recommend a personal reading list—three books each for the psychological, ideological, and practical aspects. The key is clarifying what you love and what you're good at from within the confusion. If this can ultimately create value for society, it will develop sustainably. This is what I call personal brand management.
I've genuinely read all nine books below and actually shared them with others, so some content is integrated from my previous reflections.
Psychological Aspect
1. The Courage to Be Disliked:
This book accompanied me while job hunting, through a 3-month gap after being rejected by 10 companies in interviews. "All problems stem from human relationships" and "everything people do or say has a purpose"—these were the most profound lessons I learned from this book. I read it four years ago, and even now I struggle to fully implement it. I can only calm down when facing issues, observe what's behind the other person's agenda, figure out how to respond, and realize that human relationships are impossible to control. Whether work communication goes smoothly relates to this; whether a job interview results in an offer relates to this too. It's hard to do things well—being likable is more important.
2. Bullet Journal Thinking and Organization:
This is a very practical book I read recently. Although it feels like a tool book, I believe the author, Ryder Carroll (the Bullet Journal founder), also wrote all his life philosophy into it (please definitely buy the black original edition).
"Nothing can be preserved forever, but you always have the chance to start again." This is a warm sentence to me, because whenever we face difficulties and want to give up, we get anxious about missing something. But actually life has many possibilities and many paths. Clinging to things unhelpful for the future doesn't make things better, so let go, start over, and maybe you'll see more scenery.
3. Your Kindness Must Have Sharp Edges
Intelligence is a gift, but kindness is a choice.
You must have your own boundaries. Within your capacity, you can lend a hand; beyond your capacity, you must firmly decline. This is an acknowledgment of risk and responsibility. No one should compromise to fulfill others' desires.
Often, what we call sacrifice is unnecessary giving that becomes emotional burden for both parties. Put yourself first, then others. It may sound cold, but it will help us coexist well with the world.
Ideological Aspect
1. Dark Horse Thinking:
Actually, I'm still reading this one, but I truly believe it's written very well. The main content describes how some people who aren't experts in a certain field suddenly emerge. Every sentence in the book feels like essence to me, such as "Personalized success is balancing self-realization with achieving excellence" and "Only when I took the winding path did I finally take pride in myself."
This book organizes many perspectives that help you reflect on yourself and develop your own patterns.
2. All the Money You Spend Will Flow Back to You
Clear up why you spend money, and you can simply categorize it into "desire" and "investment." But we often can't assess whether our heart and money are proportionate in value. We continuously spend thousands on clothes but struggle to invest ten thousand at once in a truly helpful course.
This is because we don't "look ahead." Investment generates feedback. If combined with interests and money is spent developing abilities, knowledge that seems useless or temporarily unusable now will definitely help you someday. You can gradually arrange your life freely and won't need to be busy like a headless fly.
3. Embracing Age Anxiety
Each age brings different challenges. Even though I've survived various insecurities, approaching 30 makes me wonder: "Have I achieved my goals?" "Do I have a recognized expertise?"
This book transformed my thinking and anxiety. The author says "meaningful growth always happens in moments of upheaval, just like adolescent growth pains everyone experiences. Acknowledge your efforts and keep pursuing growth."
I realized our inner anxiety comes from our demands and hopes for progress, not that we're not good enough. We want to never stop growing and learning, constantly hoping to become better, which creates rejection of contentment and forms anxiety.
Growth accumulates bit by bit from daily self-improvement. Though it takes physical time to witness actual results, don't give up. Embrace this anxious energy, and you'll become the best version of yourself.
（Extended Reading: Remember When Lost: Life Has No Standard Answers - Your Choices Are the Answer）
Practical Aspect
1. Writing is the Best Self-Investment
This book actually includes writing techniques. I write frequently—for about 4-5 years—and I'm a writer myself, so I look at how people teach writing. Their methods are the techniques I use in my everyday writing, though I have my own ways too.
Why mention writing? Because writing is exactly how to present your thoughts. It helps greatly with building personal brands and establishing confidence. You can display on DCard, IG, fan pages, self-hosted Wordpress, or recently Medium (personally, I don't use that).
The author says: when your mind is filled with the mindset of writing, you become more sensitive to how you view things, even gaining different perspectives. The world you see transforms through the pivot of writing from points to lines to networks, constructing a more complete world in your heart. You see new horizons others can't.
（Extended Reading: Protected Content: Paid Article / The Secret to Speed-Writing "Thousand-Character Essays"! Master Five Key Techniques: Imagery, Numbers, Plain Talk...）
2. Weak Links
I personally think this is the practical method for network building. Networks are important. This book helps clarify "why do this" and "who are valuable weak links."
Strong vs. Weak Relationships Strong relationships: shared resources, emotional sanctuary, but weak value Weak relationships: not personal relationships, but information channels
When feeling like a failure, you can examine your weak links: Besides close friends with whom you share everything, do you have other friends? What did you learn from socializing and what preparations did you make for the future? How do you gain information from your relationship network? How do you ensure others help you, not help your rivals?
Starting now, break free from #familiar relationships Trust everyone around you, including strangers or acquaintances, exchange trust for trust, build connections with trust Treat strong and weak relationships equally, value every piece of information people offer Share generously, help more people, including those without presence like newcomers
（Extended Reading: Life Multiplication! Eliminate Draining Friends - Cultivate "Comfortable" "Sustainable" Trust Partners）
3. Everything You Want Will Materialize - Mandala Plan
I recommend this because "goals" matter more than how to achieve them. You need a clear direction to have motivation to strive. After determining your core, moving toward your goal prevents wandering and abandoning midway.
Japanese baseball player Shohei Ohtani, age 24, set his goal in high school to be the first pick by all teams with a pitch speed of 160 km/h. After setting this goal, he achieved it in just three years—realizing his dream at 18. In 2016, he threw 165 km/h, the fastest pitch in Japanese professional baseball and the fastest by a Japanese pitcher on record. This was achieved through an Open Window 64 table, also called "Mandala Plan."
Many think if you casually draw an OW64 following your heart's desire, dreams will magically materialize. This is completely impossible because just clearly finding your core goal is extremely difficult. It requires breaking down goals, transforming "abstract" to "concrete."
Using the four-quadrant future perspective, decompose goal factors into "tangible," "intangible," "others," and "self."
Of course many other books are great, but I might list them in other series or revisit after completing my self-exploration. Books for further study include Dare to Lead, The Art of Networking from World-Class Business Schools, Connection, The Age of Multiple Careers, and so on.
Hope these recommendations help everyone ☺️
Friends wanting to explore personal branding—there's a public lecture on 08/02!
