Recently, I've let some opportunities to showcase myself slip away, and I feel somewhat regretful. Though the opportunity wasn't huge, it was still a step forward. Not crossing this threshold leaves me with a sense that I haven't been truly recognized.
Often, the slightest hesitation causes an opportunity to quietly slip away. The reason might be that I display my "anxiety." In the past, when a senior who understood me well sensed my anxiety, she gave me great encouragement, saying "You're someone who puts anxiety first, but you always do things very well." A former manager also said, "You clearly know you can do it and do it well, so why don't you have enough confidence?"
I think they both pointed out the issue with people like me. It's not that we can't do things well or can't accomplish them—we just keep "worrying" that we can't do well, afraid we won't meet others' expectations. To avoid this "cognitive dissonance," we might repeatedly say things like "I'm so nervous" or "Can I really do this?" Even though our hearts want to try, we don't dare say "I want to" or "I can"—worried we'll make mistakes or do poorly, inviting criticism and strange looks. At the end of the day, it's fear of being criticized. We want to give the other person a heads-up first, so if we fail, we have an excuse to get off the hook. Honestly, I think this approach is really not good, and I should adjust.
After all, to your boss or superior, they may not understand your personality so well. Instead, they'll only receive your anxious emotions and won't trust you enough. They'll worry that if they assign you tasks, you'll mess up. This leads you back into the negative emotion of "Am I not good enough?"
Round and round, a vicious cycle—not only do you lose opportunities to truly showcase yourself, but this "anxiety" causes you more and more worry, makes you lose confidence, and lets opportunities to perform slip away.
"Opportunities always come disguised as problems." Because of this, my own insight is to keep anxiety hidden in your heart and not display it. Let yourself process these worries, engage more with opportunities, treat each performance as practice, operate repeatedly, and let yourself become more certain of your work state. Increase your confidence, gain others' trust, and gradually you will be noticed.
Of course, this doesn't mean you never share your anxiety with others. Rather, at work, you need to know how to package yourself at the right time.
