There are many things to be careful about when you want to resign gracefully. For example, I don't think it's a good idea to accept a transfer as a counter-offer to stay.
Why do I say that?
【Accepting a Department Transfer as a Counter-Offer to Stay: Disrespects Your Original Supervisor】
If transferring departments would make you not want to leave the company, doesn't that suggest the original department had problems, or that your supervisor didn't give you opportunities, didn't let you develop, didn't see your talents... all these factors combined—aren't you basically blaming your original supervisor? That would definitely hurt them, and if you actually stayed, it would be awkward seeing them around the office. Both supervisors would be uncomfortable too.
So when I said I'd only stay if I didn't have to leave my original department, my supervisor broke into a smile and immediately asked, "What about shift changes then? Should I check if our shift has any openings for you?"
Seeing my supervisor's reaction, I honestly felt embarrassed and couldn't say no. So I said, "Well... okay, but let me think about it, because as far as I know, even if there are openings, everyone's positions are quite fixed. Adding me would affect others, wouldn't it? If the senior executive specifically names another person's work to go to me while he does something else, can that even be heard without complaints?"
The senior executive then chimed in with advice: if you ultimately stay, you don't have to worry about "people saying you mentioned resignation just for a raise. Neither your supervisor nor I will be influenced by such rumors, but I want to emphasize—no matter where you work in the future, never take the initiative to use a raise or promotion as a bargaining chip with any superior. What's meant to be yours will be yours."
I knew my supervisors definitely wouldn't care about people saying I mentioned leaving just for a raise, because they truly never even discussed that with me. But I can't control how rumors spread, and they definitely will. The only person affected by these rumors is me. So I was quite anxious listening to this, and I was certain I wouldn't stay.
Later, supervisors from other departments came to talk to me about joining them, but after careful consideration, I formally declined them. I was genuinely grateful to my supervisors for valuing me so highly, which made me realize I was still a capable person—I had just lacked confidence in myself before.
During this period of negotiation, I also straightforwardly told the new company that my original company was in talks about keeping me, so I needed time to officially accept their offer. They gave me a clear deadline, and I confirmed before that date without any hesitation.
The day before I left, my supervisor received a call from the new company confirming my resume. In front of everyone, he said: "They asked a question—if you could, would you still want to be colleagues with him? I said yes, because I really don't want him to leave!" Hearing my supervisor say this, I felt such gratitude and appreciation. I was very thankful for his care, and I left with everyone's blessings.
I felt this whole process taught me a lot.
First, once you've spoken about leaving, you really shouldn't change your mind and stay just for the department, position, or salary.
Especially if you've already accepted an offer from the new company—that would completely ruin your reputation.
So when you mention resignation, be clear, honest, and firm with your original company. Be honest with the new company too, set a deadline, and don't accept and then change your mind. Otherwise, you won't get the new job, might not be able to get in for years to come, and your original company's colleagues will have a bad impression of you. Either way, it negatively impacts you.
Second, never mention resignation just to negotiate a raise.
I think a company is a team organization where many things can be discussed—it's just whether you dare to or want to. If you truly feel you've worked hard and contributed to the company but haven't gotten commensurate rewards, I believe you should ask and communicate, not use resignation as a threat. Especially when a new company is waiting for you—if you ultimately accept a raise counter-offer, won't the new company think they were just being used as a tool?
Of course, there are all types of people... (haha)
Third, once you've said you're leaving, truly let it go.
If your supervisor wants to keep you, that's a validation in itself. But before resigning, you must have considered it carefully multiple times. Why would you have the courage to talk to your supervisor in the first place if you were just speaking casually? And if your supervisor tempts you by offering a job transfer and you actually accept it, aren't you pushing aside colleagues and stepping on their bodies to climb up? If it just happens that the position was something they've been waiting a long time for, wouldn't you create a huge grudge at the company?
Of course, some people don't care about their reputation, thinking work is about stepping on others to climb up. I can't help that, but I believe that's part of morality and human decency.
I've heard of a friend who mentioned resignation to her supervisor, was countered three times without staying, even snapped at her supervisor, and only agreed to stay when the senior executive spoke up. Of course, no one knows what the conditions were, but the new company's supervisor had already held a position open for her for a month, only to have her back out. In the end, the new company's supervisor publicly called her out by name: "Don't treat us as your tool for negotiation," followed by comments from senior industry supervisors, including from their own company. Is that kind of reputation really good?
Mentioning resignation isn't hard—the hard part is handling everything with care so you don't damage your image!
