Last weekend, Karen started a voting activity in the group with the topic "What are the most troubling and feared problems in the workplace?" There are 14 options in total, covering different aspects such as getting along with colleagues, managing relationships with supervisors, salary, and promotions.
The top three are "not knowing how to build good relationships with colleagues," "colleagues being insincere," and "supervisors being difficult to communicate with." Notably, the fifth is "afraid of being undermined by colleagues," and these popular options all revolve around "getting along with colleagues."
Additionally, the Taiwan Employment Service under the Ministry of Labor conducted an "anxiety survey" last year targeting freshmen entering the workplace. They discovered that during the job search period or when joining a company, the number one anxiety for freshmen is "You don't know how to do this?", accounting for 42.12%—nearly half. This all shows that colleagues' perception of your workplace performance is a very important matter.
In the workplace, colleagues vary from good to bad. However, as everyone has different personalities, people naturally have different thoughts about how their seniors teach them. For example, some seniors actively show kindness and constantly point out small details, while others might think the senior is being too controlling. Some seniors don't teach much and only answer when you ask questions. Some people like this hands-off approach, but others feel more lost. Because of these differences, many newcomers feel confused about "adapting to changes," creating a situation where they wonder whether they should use method A or method B when talking to seniors or asking questions. They get blocked by their own imagination and end up not knowing how to build good relationships with colleagues.
Below I've organized three scenarios and will tell you how to resolve them by "stepping out of your comfort zone."
➡ Fear Mentality (1): Seniors have more seniority than me, so I should just listen
Newcomers to the workplace easily feel that since seniors have been at the company for a long time, they should follow everything they say, even doing things that don't make sense, or not daring to voice opinions even when they spot something wrong. Additionally, when seniors speak to them, they become particularly "shy" and don't dare show their true personality, even though their intention comes from "respect."
However, from the senior's perspective, facing such a shy newcomer who doesn't dare express opinions actually leaves them unsure where to start teaching. They don't know what you're thinking or where your problems are, making it impossible to resolve your confusion. When seniors assign tasks, they might not discover certain problems because they're not the ones executing them on the front lines, so they end up giving difficult instructions to carry out.
✳ Solution: Respecting seniors is polite, but excessive politeness can actually make you seem "unapproachable," giving others the impression of a "has nothing to say" person or making them wonder "did they even understand?" Actually, seniors aren't as scary as you think. Basically, they're just older and entered the workplace earlier. Compared to freshmen, they have more experience in this area, have encountered more situations and problems, and therefore have already found solutions and ways to handle each matter—they weren't born knowing all this.
If you "imagine" seniors as very distant in your mind, it might also leave them unsure how to teach you. For some seniors, they just want to see if you can do what they've told you. Making mistakes after one or two explanations is acceptable, but if it happens on the third or fourth time, they'll naturally become impatient. They'll want to know what you don't understand so they can adjust their teaching method, rather than discovering problems only after the work is completed. That just wastes both your time.
So when you have problems, you should bravely speak up—whether it's something you don't understand or issues with the project, you can say it. Don't keep it to yourself, thinking that speaking up is disrespectful to your senior, or trying to push yourself to do work you clearly can't handle, which only makes things more chaotic.
➡ Fear Mentality (2): Afraid of asking stupid questions and being disliked by seniors
Many people have plenty of questions in their minds but don't dare ask others in the workplace. Instead, they just work with their heads down, not comparing themselves to others. But this easily earns them the reputation of "doing things wrong without asking" or "having low curiosity." However, these people might be worried about asking foolish questions. But actually, newcomers have the right to ask all kinds of questions. First, because they're unfamiliar with company culture; second, they don't understand administrative procedures and workflows; third, they're still exploring the entire environment. Therefore, people's tolerance is relatively higher.
However, some people might have had similar work experience before and assume that the method from company B can work at company A. Therefore, they feel that re-asking basic questions might be too foolish, or worry that asking many questions might make seniors dislike them. Holding onto this fantasy of being perceived negatively, they easily don't speak, don't ask, don't change, don't transform. Over time, they become confused, but actually many things can be resolved with just one or two sentences. It's not that difficult.
✳ Solution: Everyone wants to build a good image in the workplace, so they worry that the questions they ask are too basic, worrying that asking things everyone knows might damage their image in others' minds, and that asking too much might be disliked. But actually, this misconception only comes from excessive worry. Sometimes seniors won't even notice which aspects newcomers don't understand or why. If you raise questions and give everyone the opportunity to teach you, when new people join later, they can be specially guided, reducing friction among everyone.
Asking questions about different aspects also demonstrates your passion for the job and desire to understand more. Additionally, when asking questions, you can compliment seniors on handling something well and ask them for a tip or two. Usually, with this phrasing, they're happy their work was noticed and willing to understand your thoughts better and discuss with you. Although asking questions is good, it doesn't mean you can repeatedly ask the same question many times. Speaking from my own experience, I really dislike encountering such people, because it shows you don't have the intention to remember things, essentially wasting everyone's time.
➡ Fear Mentality (3): They're busy, maybe they don't want to teach me
Some people aren't familiar with their seniors and easily imagine the other person's emotions. If they don't see a smile or "appear" busy, even though they have questions in their mind, these imaginings prevent them from daring to speak up. Actually, sometimes this is also a form of avoidance, giving yourself an excuse like "Actually I wanted to ask them last time, but they happened to be busy." Of course, everyone has their own tasks during work hours. If there's nothing else to handle, they're definitely doing their own work.
But when you speak up and want to ask them questions, they can arrange time and fit your question-asking into their schedule, telling you to wait ten minutes or when they have time. They can also prepare beforehand, giving themselves a moment to think about what you'll ask. No matter how busy, as long as you speak up, most people will help, unless they're someone who really wants to hoard knowledge and is hard to approach.
✳ Solution: We must first overcome the "overthinking" personality trait. Often we sit in safe spaces to feel comfortable in our minds, not daring to explore whether the other person actually has time. Instead, we one-sidedly guess the other person's emotions, worrying that our questions will bother them or that we'll waste their time. But it's really not that serious. Like mentioned above, as long as you speak up, they can arrange time and fit you into their schedule. Because discussing more and asking more questions helps everyone understand each other better. By doing this, you can bring yourselves closer together. Of course, if the person is really busy, don't bother them repeatedly—learn to read the room.
