I'm the type of person who cares deeply—very deeply—about what others think. This has caused me a lot of suffering. The upside is that it pushes me to reflect on my shortcomings and improve myself. The downside is that a single comment from a coworker can affect my work performance, and letting my emotions be controlled by others' words often turns me into a laughingstock or becomes idle gossip.
But two years later, I realized something: "The more you care about those words, the easier it is for them to hurt you." People who say hurtful things actually just have too much time on their hands, so they spend it competing with you for power and influence. Because of their lack of ability, they need to belittle others to gain recognition and trust from people around them. When you let their words control your emotions and your work suffers, you're falling right into their trap—and worse, you're giving them the satisfaction of proving they were right, making them even bolder.
If someone truly cares about you, they'll tell you directly how to improve things and offer constructive advice. Of course, there are also people who say one thing to your face and another behind your back. The only way to tell these types of coworkers apart is through experience, because if you never go through these setbacks, you won't grow. "Healing after being hurt is a form of growth." I believe this thorny path is inevitable, and even when it's difficult to endure, you have to see it through.
Then you'll understand that when facing negative emotions, what you should do is do your job well—make sure there are no mistakes, don't give people anything to criticize. When facing negative comments, don't respond directly. Instead, use those words to find areas you can improve and become better. Don't let it affect your work performance. Keep doing this, and you'll keep getting better.
【Key Insights from My First Job Series—Five Articles in Part 2】
Key Insights from My First Job (Part 2-1): Choose a Good Manager, Not Just a Good Company
Key Insights from My First Job (Part 2-2): Stick to the Facts, Don't Let Emotions Take Control
Key Insights from My First Job (Part 2-4): You're Not Omnipotent, Don't Take Everything On
